Dandelion Crowns
by SpellboundWinter
Summary: Mom always said, uh, dandelions were disgusting weeds and it was my job to pull 'em out of the garden. I always thought of dandelions as flowers instead of weeds. They were pretty and nice. The only thing was when you picked them your hands would get all sticky with pollen and milk. I didn't think Stan would be allergic either! Gee wizz, this is all my fault! Stutters. One-shot.


**I'm allergic to ragweeds, like severely. Hence this story was born. Thanks to ChocolateXFountain again :D You wanted Stutters? Here you go! And its fluff.**

**It's strange but it's all I could come up with. I tried to write it in Butter's voice but I feel like I failed hardcore. Blame it on this bad cold I've had lately.**

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While growing up, I enjoyed dandelions. They were useless weeds but I still thought they were warm. I used to hold them under my chin and if it 'glows' yellow there, it means you like butter. I know it's kind of lame but... Those were my memories growin' up.

Mom always said, uh, dandelions were disgusting weeds and it was my job to, uh, pull 'em out of the garden. I always thought of dandelions as flowers instead of weeds. They were pretty and nice. The only thing was when you picked them your hands would get all sticky with pollen and milk.

It's bothering me lately. I get teased a lot for bein' a little more girly. I know I'm feminine. I mean, I like being clean. I like hygiene because well, who would want someone smelling like a pigs trough?

I laid out in the calming South Park summer. I held up my braid of dandelions. I wanted to make, uhm, one of them crown thingies. I see Bebe doin' it all the time.

Beside me sat Stan. He was all heartbroken again. This time it wasn't that cont- continuing source of inspiration, i.e. Wendy. It was Kyle Broflovski.

I heard from Heidi Turner, who talked with Bebe, who had sex with Kenny, who knew this guy at Skeeter's, who knew this Kyle's cousin and he said Kyle broke up with Stan because of "reasons". It was probably because, uhm, Kyle got a full ride scholarship to a university in another state.

Now, I know what you're thinkin'. Stan playin' football and on the team, he must be a good player. Nah, he ain't that good. He only plays the sports to try to get a scholarship. Poor fella, he works real hard. Last year he rolled his ankle playin'.

Stan threw up the pigskin, letting it fall back into his hands. He turned to me with a wry smile. "Wanna play football while we wait for Kenny?"

"Me? Neat-o!" I jumped to my feet like an eager child. Stan usually hated me, this was my chance to get close to him. He held the ball up, tossing it at me. I caught it before it spiraled into my face. I fingered the strip of leather, throwing it back to Stan.

He grabbed it with a laugh. "I guess I was wrong. You can catch a ball."

We passed it back and forth for a few minutes. I was really starting to enjoy myself for once. It was actually nice to bond with Stan without him yellin' or screamin' at me. I, uhm, really hate that.

Stan sniffed and then started to rub his eyes. "Agh, shit!" He dropped the ball, rubbing his eyes even harder. Stan shouted, lookin' at his hands. "What's on the ball?!"

I peered at my hands that were all gooey and sticky with dandelion's milk and pollen. "Oh golly, just dandelions."

"I'm allergic to dandelions!" Stan shouted, grabbing his face with a groan. He clawed at his features. "No wonder my face is so itchy!"

"I-I didn't know!" His eyebrows were knit together and his swollen eyes mirrored how much he wanted to murder me. "Agh! Uhm, come on Stan. Let's get to my house!"

"I would but I can't see!" he snapped angrily.

My fingers entangled his as I led him down the sidewalk. He kept rubbin' his face even more. Poor fella. This was all my fault. I bet he hated me even more. Now he couldn't see.

"Tell me if you see Kyle since I'm blind at the moment." he let out a groan. "I don't want to see him."

After a bit of walkin' we got to my little house. I didn't know what to do. Maybe mom would? I unlocked the door, guiding Stan inside like one of those eye seeing dogs. "Mom!" I hollered out. "Mom?!" I started searching the house. She was supposed to be home at this time.

"I don't think she's home Butters." Stan said simply.

My expression became sullen again. I guided him carefully up the stairs and into my bathroom, I sat him on the toilet. "Poor thing. You're face ain't lookin' too good." He looked as though a thousand bee stings all of his face. It was all my fault too. Stupid, stupid me.

I tried to think of what my mom would do. Cold water and a washcloth, that sounded about right.

I fumbled through the drawers, finding a washcloth. I placed it under the facet, making it cold as possible. I laid the wet rag over his face. He sighed in relief.

I smiled to myself. I did good. He wasn't yellin' at least.

"Do you have any antihistamines?" he mumbled past the cloth.

"Anti-who's?"

"Stuff that helps out with my face being swollen, dude. Look for some in your cabinet." he demanded.

I did as he asked. I mean, I made his face all icky. I rummaged around in the medicine cabinet before pulling out a little bottle. Huh, I didn't know we had _ana-hstah-meens._

I placed the little tablet in his hands. He leaned over, cupping water from the facet, swallowing it wordlessly. He sat back on the toilet seat, lying the rag back over his face.

Then I noticed we were holding hands again. I jumped, I didn't even notice.

He let out a little grunt.

"Are you okay?"

He grunted again.

"Stan?!"

"I'm fine." he groaned out. "My eyes, face and throat really hurt."

After about a half an hour of sitting with him, he took the rag off of his face. "Well?" he turned to me. His face was still a tad swollen. I tried to keep a straight face, nodding. "Looks good."

We were quiet lookin' at each other. The silence was, uh, painful.

"Stan, I sure am sorry." I fiddled with my knuckles.

"You didn't know."

"...I'm sorry about Kyle."

Stan's eyebrows knitted together then his face dropped pitifully. "You heard? Small town gossip sucks."

"I'll be here if you need anything at all. You know I'm your friend, I'm here for ya little buddy. If you need me for anything just ask."

Stan fumbled with the washcloth, wringing it out on my tiles.

"I just didn't think he'd just leave me like that. We've been together for so long. He said that he didn't want a long distance relationship." He plopped beside me, leaning his head into my shoulder. "I just want my best friend back."

I pulled him into my arm, rubbing circles into his shoulder

"I know that won't happen. Too much has happened between us. I just wish I could do everything over again."

My voice cracked. "B-but Kyle could always come back for you. I'll be your replacement if you want. I just want ya happy." I held him closer, taking in his cologne. "I know I sound sappy but I mean it! I really don't like seein' people sad and we'll be like best friends! I'll take you out for ice crea-"

"Replacement? _You_? You pale in the comparison of Kyle."

I crossed my arms. Kyle wasn't God, Jiminy Crickets. I don't pale in his comparison? Such a pretentious butthole.

"J-just give me, uh, a chance!" I scowled. "You've never given me a chance at anything. I wanna help but you keep pushin' me away! I want to help bu-"

"Butters, just shut up." he got even closer. "You want to be Kyle's replacement? Fine. Whatever."

I touched my lips with my hands. Stan was awfully close now. He was invading my personal space. "S-sorry!" I felt him rip my hand away.

He was real close and it was a scary. Having Stan that close was almost intimate. I noticed his eyes were still red and puffy but his irises... They were so cold. I've never met another person with eyes as cold looking as his.

Then the next thing I know my mouth was bein' attacked by his. It was warm and wet and... weird. Sure, I've gotten kisses from girls but a boy? That's just silly. Or was it? I dunno.

I started to feel my head get all hazy. I had this feeling in my stomach, like I swallowed a bunch of icky worms. And then it was like I was being electrocuted all over. It was shocking up and down my spine. Goosebumps started poppin' up all over my arms and the back of my neck. Stan's lips were a little rough and when they would brush against my softer ones, it would scratch.

He pulled away and I didn't even know it, I was frozen with my lips sticking out and a tongue that was flopping around.

"Your gay and you know it." Stan remarked.

"I think you're a cute sneaky little butthole."

He covered his mouth suddenly. "Butters, your hands! I got dandelion in my mouth!"

"Oh Jesus!"

I forgot to wash my hands.


End file.
